Lucky Girl

7/19/12

Yesterday was the first day I've been in a wretched funk since we found out the good news.  The night before I'd had a somewhat emotional event with some friends I've known for years from an online game.  It was nothing major but since I'm now ultra sensitive, it seems, it affected me more deeply than it should have.  This was followed shortly by Clif announcing his sudden distaste of my absolutely favorite boy name, a grievous mistake.

I have many hobbies that I love dearly and luckily most of them are very neutral-gender specific.  A few of them, however, I know I would have a difficult if not impossible time sharing with a son, therefore I am convinced if Clif and I have multiple children they will all be boys.  It would figure I'd want so badly to have one of each, especially a girl I can dress up in sequins and frills, only to not get the opportunity.  Now, please do NOT misunderstand me, I will love sons with every ounce of my being and will be happy and fulfilled to have them, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't wish for the opportunity to have a girl, too.

Anyway, convinced we're having boys.  More challenging is the fact that I am really drawn to unique but not common names that don't sound completely ridiculous.  These seem to be easier to find when it comes to girl names and I really have a hard time finding boy names that I like, so when I came across one that I fell in love with several years ago I felt like I'd hit the jackpot!  Clif all along had said he was good with my name selection and we even mentioned our would-be son by that name on occasion when talking about future children.  You can, I'm sure, understand my blind-sided surprise and hurt when he pulled the rug out from under me by suddenly announcing he actually didn't like it at all.  By the way, did I mention I'm emotional?

I was angry.  Hurt and angry.  Hurt, angry, completely frustrated and ready to HATE absolutely every other name suggestion.  I went as far and (truthfully) told him we could look for other options but I'd never find one I loved as much as my first choice.  Sometimes I can get a little grumpy.

The next morning I was sure I'd have slept it off and could return to my previous state of pregnant and glowing, but alas, the irritation was still there and I went through my first day of mildly upset tummy to boot. By late afternoon I was feeling better, had even had a few gut-rumbling laugh sessions with friends at work and was sure to have a lovely evening, despite my indecisive stomach.

Clif was a little stressy when I got home which always manages to throw my stress level through the roof.  I prepared for a session with my computer and a glass of veggie juice in an effort to stay out of his way.  Much to my pleasure he channeled himself into an evening of envying productivity, including, but not limited to, changing the cat litter box, doing a ton of dishes and cooking us an amazing dinner.  A dinner that needs it's own tangent:

My wonderful husband is a picky fish eater.  His seafood preference?  Raw, please!  Strange, right?  Not that sushi isn't great but most people who are picky about their fish tend towards the cooked variety but he's just the opposite.  He also is a professed not-fan of salmon!  This is utterly ridiculous to me as salmon is simply fantastic.

We have never purchased, prepared or eaten salmon in our home before so it was shocking when he went so far as to suggest we get some individually wrapped frozen filets.  I guess less shocking given he has been doing an astronomical amount of research on this whole pregnancy thing and knows way more about what I should and shouldn't be doing, drinking and eating than I do.  Salmon is on the good list so he wanted it in the house for me to eat.  Thanks to my mother Clif discovered one preparation of salmon that he not only tolerated but liked.  Sadly for him it was too sweet and "complicated" for my palate last night.  I requested my portion be prepared simply, maybe with a little bit of soy sauce.  After putting in my request I left him to his devices.  I did not expect when he was done to see two portions of garlic teryaki salmon on beds of fluffy rice.  I watched him out of the corner of my eye to see how he would react to his own creation of a food he wouldn't even willingly select, much less prepare.

My gracious, it was one of the best dinners we've had!  He NAILED it and I can't wait for him to fix it again!  The best part?  He loved it as much as I did and was so proud, as he had every right to be.

Then this morning he followed me out of bed to tell me how much he loved me, hugged and kissed me and told me that my favorite boy name was alright with him.

Since I took that silly little test not even two weeks ago I have been beyond floored with the person Clif has become.  Though I feel that's unfair, Clif has always been wonderful but ever since last Monday he's had this extra oomph about him that blows my mind.  His tender sweetness and consideration for me and how I'm feeling is overwhelming and I am so joyous because of it.  We have been so incredibly loving and caring for each other in ways that move me.  I know we will have down days, I'm sure plenty of them, and at some point the new and shiny factor will rub off a bit.  The wider and more uncomfortable I grow I'm sure will be in direct proportion to my grumpy factor but I'm going to do everything I can to keep it in check and take care of Clif the way he's taking care of me.