This post won't be published until several weeks after it was written to allow us to struggle through the first trimester, but since we've taken another giant step into our adventurous future, I wanted to keep track of some of the details of the moment.
Energy: severely lacking. So tired. All the time. Aaaalllllllllll the time...
Nausea: A nearly-constant frienemy
Weight: back to pre-first baby weight (not good), dreading the fight against potential gain
Aversions: fragrance of most varieties
Things that make me cry: really sad or really happy news stories and videos like this - https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153008303469927
or this - https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153575376100299&fref=nf
Food Cravings:
Dominos Greek salad
Everything bagels with plain cream cheese and sliced fresh tomatoes
Pimento filled green olives
Blueberry muffins
Stuffing
Campbells soup (chicken and stars, minestrone, vegetable)
Deviled eggs
Chicken nuggets
Popcorn shrimp
Strawberry shortcake
Coke
Food No-Gos:
Dominos Greek salad
Chicken breast
Crackers
The mere existence of Ranch mashed cauliflower leftovers that sounded like such a great idea when I made them the night before
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Holiday Unwind
As the holiday dust settles and we ease into the, for me, hardest part of the year (post-holiday AND seasonal blues with hardly a snowflake in sight), I finally have the chance to reflect on our Christmas and New Year's.
I'm sure you can guess, but we had an absolutely outstanding holiday. Every year we are blessed to get to share the season with our friends and family, surrounded by loved ones, and every year it gets a little bit better. This year was my favorite to date because we got to add Flynn to the mix. As expected, he was more interested in the wrapping paper and boxes than the gifts, but little dude scored some pretty great toys to help pique his educational, musical and chewing interests.
One of my personal parenting goals has been to try not to flood Flynn with a million toys. So far I think we are doing a fairly decent job of keeping the potential mountain to a minimum, and I'm really proud of that fact. Several months ago I bought him a couple of small developmental toys, just so he had SOMETHING more stimulating than a rattle to help inspire his brain while we waited for Christmas. I managed to keep his big gift from Clif and myself, an adorable stuffed rocking moose that has crinkly antlers, squeaky ears and plays 4 different songs about colors, numbers, letters and the awesomeness of rocking, a secret from Flynn AND Clif. Again, knowing Flynn would most likely be ambivalent to the actual gift, I was so excited about it I kept it from Clif so I had at least one person who would be excited about opening it. We plopped Flynn in the saddle and snapped pictures of his bemused bewilderment, surrounded by his encouraging cousins. He still has a ways to go until he can fully engage with his rocker solo, but it's still one of my personal favorites.
Also in the epic Christmas haul were incredible baby booties by Zutano. I had heard about and seen these suckers in action not too long after Flynn was born, but forgot about them until Clif's parents gave us a pair with an adorable new outfit. They are designed to Stay On Always, and aside from less than half a dozen instances where Flynn was caught up in a blanket or his car seat and managed to get them off because of violent and aggressive foot action, they have done just that. We have almost abandoned baby socks and shoes entirely in favor of these things and bought a second pair. They are a touch on the pricey side but worth EVERY penny and are getting added to my baby must-have list. Clif's parents also gave Flynn an adorable set of percussion instruments that are stored inside a clear drum. Each instrument has a letter/insect, are neutral in color scheme, make great sounds that aren't too loud or piercing and tactile stimulating. Other favorites include a drive-and-learn toy (that horn honking is almost irresistible) and several other goodies.
One of my favorite parts of the day, though (and there were many!), was when we made a stop at the Loudoun Birthing Inn for a special delivery. I had decided several months ago that I would take scarves I'd knit as gifts to the nursing staff who had to work on Christmas. I packed up a bunch of them and took Flynn and my mother-in-law on our way to our family dinner. When we arrived I asked the receptionist if she could tell me how many nurses were on the floor, and if she could find out if any of them recognized my name. She remembered me and went in the back to see who was available. Several minutes later she came back grinning, told me they had literally just been talking about me and how last year they came to my room to sing me Christmas carols, and that they would be up front in a minute. The receptionist went back again, and when she returned she had her phone in front of her, I could tell immediately that she was taking a video. Right behind her came the 4 nurses on shift, singing a Christmas carol for us. What a special, sentimental treat! I recognized all 4 nurses and we passed around hugs and joy. I handed off their scarves and some extras for the mothers who were also on the floor. They then sent up Dr. J-C, the one who we first met on that fateful early December day when I felt so steamrolled, upset and overwhelmed, so much so they admitted me to Labor and Delivery for observation that kicked off the whole bed-rest saga. Clif and I love Dr. J-C and it seemed perfect that she was the one working so we could show her how well Flynn and Mommy were doing. She got a scarf, too, and soon we were back on the road to our next stop.
Gifts are nice, but the best present was all of the love, joy and memories that were created on our fabulous Christmas with so many people we love. I know Flynn won't remember it, but I look forward to getting to share the story of his first Christmas with him one day.
Oh, and New Year's? It was lovely, low key, spent in PJs loafing around the house and ended in some bubbly, a kiss from Clif, a fingertip kiss for Flynn, and watching snippets of neighborhood fireworks through the trees from the driveway. In other words, perfection.
I'm sure you can guess, but we had an absolutely outstanding holiday. Every year we are blessed to get to share the season with our friends and family, surrounded by loved ones, and every year it gets a little bit better. This year was my favorite to date because we got to add Flynn to the mix. As expected, he was more interested in the wrapping paper and boxes than the gifts, but little dude scored some pretty great toys to help pique his educational, musical and chewing interests.
One of my personal parenting goals has been to try not to flood Flynn with a million toys. So far I think we are doing a fairly decent job of keeping the potential mountain to a minimum, and I'm really proud of that fact. Several months ago I bought him a couple of small developmental toys, just so he had SOMETHING more stimulating than a rattle to help inspire his brain while we waited for Christmas. I managed to keep his big gift from Clif and myself, an adorable stuffed rocking moose that has crinkly antlers, squeaky ears and plays 4 different songs about colors, numbers, letters and the awesomeness of rocking, a secret from Flynn AND Clif. Again, knowing Flynn would most likely be ambivalent to the actual gift, I was so excited about it I kept it from Clif so I had at least one person who would be excited about opening it. We plopped Flynn in the saddle and snapped pictures of his bemused bewilderment, surrounded by his encouraging cousins. He still has a ways to go until he can fully engage with his rocker solo, but it's still one of my personal favorites.
Also in the epic Christmas haul were incredible baby booties by Zutano. I had heard about and seen these suckers in action not too long after Flynn was born, but forgot about them until Clif's parents gave us a pair with an adorable new outfit. They are designed to Stay On Always, and aside from less than half a dozen instances where Flynn was caught up in a blanket or his car seat and managed to get them off because of violent and aggressive foot action, they have done just that. We have almost abandoned baby socks and shoes entirely in favor of these things and bought a second pair. They are a touch on the pricey side but worth EVERY penny and are getting added to my baby must-have list. Clif's parents also gave Flynn an adorable set of percussion instruments that are stored inside a clear drum. Each instrument has a letter/insect, are neutral in color scheme, make great sounds that aren't too loud or piercing and tactile stimulating. Other favorites include a drive-and-learn toy (that horn honking is almost irresistible) and several other goodies.
One of my favorite parts of the day, though (and there were many!), was when we made a stop at the Loudoun Birthing Inn for a special delivery. I had decided several months ago that I would take scarves I'd knit as gifts to the nursing staff who had to work on Christmas. I packed up a bunch of them and took Flynn and my mother-in-law on our way to our family dinner. When we arrived I asked the receptionist if she could tell me how many nurses were on the floor, and if she could find out if any of them recognized my name. She remembered me and went in the back to see who was available. Several minutes later she came back grinning, told me they had literally just been talking about me and how last year they came to my room to sing me Christmas carols, and that they would be up front in a minute. The receptionist went back again, and when she returned she had her phone in front of her, I could tell immediately that she was taking a video. Right behind her came the 4 nurses on shift, singing a Christmas carol for us. What a special, sentimental treat! I recognized all 4 nurses and we passed around hugs and joy. I handed off their scarves and some extras for the mothers who were also on the floor. They then sent up Dr. J-C, the one who we first met on that fateful early December day when I felt so steamrolled, upset and overwhelmed, so much so they admitted me to Labor and Delivery for observation that kicked off the whole bed-rest saga. Clif and I love Dr. J-C and it seemed perfect that she was the one working so we could show her how well Flynn and Mommy were doing. She got a scarf, too, and soon we were back on the road to our next stop.
Gifts are nice, but the best present was all of the love, joy and memories that were created on our fabulous Christmas with so many people we love. I know Flynn won't remember it, but I look forward to getting to share the story of his first Christmas with him one day.
Oh, and New Year's? It was lovely, low key, spent in PJs loafing around the house and ended in some bubbly, a kiss from Clif, a fingertip kiss for Flynn, and watching snippets of neighborhood fireworks through the trees from the driveway. In other words, perfection.
Friday, December 19, 2014
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
Wow, I'm really terrible at this regular blog update thing.
Christmas is in a week. It's hard to believe, and more than a little terrifying, how fast time flies. I remember how long the month of December felt when I was younger. Thanksgiving would come and go and it still felt like an eternity until Christmas day. I actually didn't mind, my favorite part about Christmas is the build up to it: the music, decorating, festive outfits, holiday movies viewed in PJs with mugs of hot chocolate. I love Christmas day, but there's a hint of sadness as the day slips by. All too soon it is over and the entire year looms until it comes around again.
I've noticed, as I've gotten older, my love of the Christmas build up and dread of the letdown when it's over have increased 10-fold. I've almost adopted a method of self-preservation by not getting as excited about it as I was when I was younger (not even a kid, just younger). It certainly doesn't help that holidays, and life in general, is just different when you are an adult. The holiday stress you knew your parents felt, but didn't make sense to you, all of a sudden is stark and real. Traffic sucks, people are grumpy, and if you haven't saved some PTO you still have to go to work. Luckily I save as much of PTO for the end of year as possible, so I'll have a nice break at home.
For the first time in several years my anticipation of Christmas day has ramped to child-like heights. I blame that on a few things: 1) Clif and I have both been working on generating supplemental incomes for our family, which means that our savings can grow, but we also have a little bit extra to have a bigger Christmas than we usually do. Christmas isn't about the presents, there are so many more important things than that, but seeing our tree surrounded by beautifully wrapped gifts for our loved ones does have a certain warm and fuzzy feel. 2) We have a child. He is too young to really understand any of the concepts of Christmas, but he sees our decorations and we take him to look at Christmas lights around the neighborhood. Christmas music has been on almost constantly since before Thanksgiving and I sing carols to him all the time. He got to be Jesus for our churches live nativity. He won't remember it, but I will, as will all of the people who will lovingly/teasingly call him "Baby Jesus" for years and years to come. I also can't wait for him to open his presents. He may be more interested in the paper and boxes they come in, but it will be exciting for us and grow the anticipation of how he will react to this holiday as he gets older. Oh, the fun we will have!
This month certainly hasn't been without its challenges. I feel so overwhelmed, scatterbrained, losing track of things and time, unable to keep all of the balls I'm juggling up in the air. I've had moments of complete lack of grace or any ability to Just Deal, which doesn't make me feel very good about myself. The house has been a disaster (thank you, Clif, for being my hero and staying up until the wee morning hours to clean so I could feel better, I love you!), I haven't been able to get nearly as far as I need to with knitting orders, and Flynn has been having to deal with cutting 4 teeth simultaneously. We think this last challenge is what kicked up his very first fever earlier this week. Clif was amazing in handling him, getting some medications on board to reduce his fever, laying with him in bed with a cold compress, quietly snuggling or playing with some soft stuffed toys. Clif handled the situation so much better than I think I would have, certainly with more confidence, and even though he told me later he was scared and cried having to see Flynn so lethargic and unwell, I am thankful that he was there to take authoritative action to make our little man feel better. I was not nearly as confident as he at least appeared to be, knowing he was home and taking care of business gave me great piece of mind. Flynn's fever broke within 2 days, but he's still struggling with some serious nasal congestion that is making meal time less than pleasant. Still, he is much improved and has his energy and personality back, just in time for the weekend. We can survive the sudden torrential downpours of drool so much better when he is feeling good and smiling.
In other news, my worry about Flynn being slower to hit mobility milestones has turned out to be pretty much unnecessary. While still practicing what I call a 'zombie crawl' (lots of upper body pulling and lower body dragging, creepy...), it is a super effective and FAST zombie crawl. Flynn can get every where: sitting up from lying down, lying down from sitting up, front to back, back to front, spin 360 degrees, and travel in all directions. He
Clif has been loving, and excelling, as a new consultant for Tastefully Simple. He is doing a really great job and enjoys the "work", especially as it can be a nice little break from the more demanding needs of CWS. I decided to transition from Touchstone Crystal to a new company called Radiantly You. I feel passionate about the natural, organic, environmentally-aware product and the mission-mindedness of the company. I'm hopeful that I can push myself to grow in new ways through this experience and share the goodness with people. Natal Knits has done so much better than I ever thought this season, which has given me inspiration and motivation to expand the projects I work on and offer in the Etsy shop. Things will surely slow down after Christmas, even though there is plenty of scarf season left, but during the spring and summer I hope to work on more complex and varied projects in preparation for next year.
Whew! The holidays are here and they mean business. Even when things seem to be spiraling out of control I will strive to remember how fortunate we are, and when things are great I will relish the beauty, joy, and love that surrounds us.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Christmas is in a week. It's hard to believe, and more than a little terrifying, how fast time flies. I remember how long the month of December felt when I was younger. Thanksgiving would come and go and it still felt like an eternity until Christmas day. I actually didn't mind, my favorite part about Christmas is the build up to it: the music, decorating, festive outfits, holiday movies viewed in PJs with mugs of hot chocolate. I love Christmas day, but there's a hint of sadness as the day slips by. All too soon it is over and the entire year looms until it comes around again.
I've noticed, as I've gotten older, my love of the Christmas build up and dread of the letdown when it's over have increased 10-fold. I've almost adopted a method of self-preservation by not getting as excited about it as I was when I was younger (not even a kid, just younger). It certainly doesn't help that holidays, and life in general, is just different when you are an adult. The holiday stress you knew your parents felt, but didn't make sense to you, all of a sudden is stark and real. Traffic sucks, people are grumpy, and if you haven't saved some PTO you still have to go to work. Luckily I save as much of PTO for the end of year as possible, so I'll have a nice break at home.
For the first time in several years my anticipation of Christmas day has ramped to child-like heights. I blame that on a few things: 1) Clif and I have both been working on generating supplemental incomes for our family, which means that our savings can grow, but we also have a little bit extra to have a bigger Christmas than we usually do. Christmas isn't about the presents, there are so many more important things than that, but seeing our tree surrounded by beautifully wrapped gifts for our loved ones does have a certain warm and fuzzy feel. 2) We have a child. He is too young to really understand any of the concepts of Christmas, but he sees our decorations and we take him to look at Christmas lights around the neighborhood. Christmas music has been on almost constantly since before Thanksgiving and I sing carols to him all the time. He got to be Jesus for our churches live nativity. He won't remember it, but I will, as will all of the people who will lovingly/teasingly call him "Baby Jesus" for years and years to come. I also can't wait for him to open his presents. He may be more interested in the paper and boxes they come in, but it will be exciting for us and grow the anticipation of how he will react to this holiday as he gets older. Oh, the fun we will have!
This month certainly hasn't been without its challenges. I feel so overwhelmed, scatterbrained, losing track of things and time, unable to keep all of the balls I'm juggling up in the air. I've had moments of complete lack of grace or any ability to Just Deal, which doesn't make me feel very good about myself. The house has been a disaster (thank you, Clif, for being my hero and staying up until the wee morning hours to clean so I could feel better, I love you!), I haven't been able to get nearly as far as I need to with knitting orders, and Flynn has been having to deal with cutting 4 teeth simultaneously. We think this last challenge is what kicked up his very first fever earlier this week. Clif was amazing in handling him, getting some medications on board to reduce his fever, laying with him in bed with a cold compress, quietly snuggling or playing with some soft stuffed toys. Clif handled the situation so much better than I think I would have, certainly with more confidence, and even though he told me later he was scared and cried having to see Flynn so lethargic and unwell, I am thankful that he was there to take authoritative action to make our little man feel better. I was not nearly as confident as he at least appeared to be, knowing he was home and taking care of business gave me great piece of mind. Flynn's fever broke within 2 days, but he's still struggling with some serious nasal congestion that is making meal time less than pleasant. Still, he is much improved and has his energy and personality back, just in time for the weekend. We can survive the sudden torrential downpours of drool so much better when he is feeling good and smiling.
In other news, my worry about Flynn being slower to hit mobility milestones has turned out to be pretty much unnecessary. While still practicing what I call a 'zombie crawl' (lots of upper body pulling and lower body dragging, creepy...), it is a super effective and FAST zombie crawl. Flynn can get every where: sitting up from lying down, lying down from sitting up, front to back, back to front, spin 360 degrees, and travel in all directions. He
Clif has been loving, and excelling, as a new consultant for Tastefully Simple. He is doing a really great job and enjoys the "work", especially as it can be a nice little break from the more demanding needs of CWS. I decided to transition from Touchstone Crystal to a new company called Radiantly You. I feel passionate about the natural, organic, environmentally-aware product and the mission-mindedness of the company. I'm hopeful that I can push myself to grow in new ways through this experience and share the goodness with people. Natal Knits has done so much better than I ever thought this season, which has given me inspiration and motivation to expand the projects I work on and offer in the Etsy shop. Things will surely slow down after Christmas, even though there is plenty of scarf season left, but during the spring and summer I hope to work on more complex and varied projects in preparation for next year.
Whew! The holidays are here and they mean business. Even when things seem to be spiraling out of control I will strive to remember how fortunate we are, and when things are great I will relish the beauty, joy, and love that surrounds us.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Friday, November 14, 2014
Family Growth
The Castlemans are all growing, and that is a good thing.
Clif held his first baby ever the month before Flynn was born. Not having hardly any experience at all with little ones, except for our nieces and nephews, he's had one of the steepest learning curves. People offer up suggestions, advice and statements of things to expect with growing kids, but it's hard to wrap your head around some concepts until you experience them. He is an incredible dad and learning new things every day, which I know is exciting for all of us.
In the meantime I am still working hard on my area of growth: learning to breathe. I am a worrier by nature and, if you ask my father, by blood. Seriously, he can trace a full line of worriers in our family tree. I firmly believe I needed to experience all of the hiccups before getting pregnant with Flynn, as well as the challenges we faced during those 9 months (up to and including weeks of bed rest, threats of early delivery, emergency c-section and unexpected trip to the ICU) in order to start learning to let go of control and just go with the flow. I think I also needed the challenges we faced with our first pediatrician who fed my first-time mother doubts and fears until we finally wised up and took a stand against practices we didn't fully understand. All of those events have been teaching me how to learn to relax, trust myself, worry less, sit back and let things happen naturally. It has not been without effort, but I've made remarkable progress. So much so that I almost feel like I can't express my musings without them being interpreted as fretful by people who know me. Things that used to concern me greatly I can now contemplate without letting them carry me away to Stress City, but it can still take some thought and effort.
Flynn is going so fast I am both afraid to blink and hardly notice until I flip through pictures of him and compare his progress. Every day is a joy with him and I love watching him learn. I've discovered a pattern in his growth and mine: just as my musings about when he might hit his next developmental milestone start to edge towards anxious anticipation on whether it will be within the "normal guidelines" (which I don't truly care about, I promise, I know he will get there at his own pace), he hits it. I've been flirting with a little bit worried about him crawling for several weeks now. A lot of people say that they, their kid, or someone they knew skipped crawling and went right to walking. There are newer studies out, however, that say some kids who are having difficulty reading when they are older are encouraged to practice crawling, as it connects specific synapses in the brain. Similar to these studies, I think, are ones saying that all of the baby positioners out on the market now are encouraging parents to force developmental steps on their children before they are ready for it.
I think these are classic examples of how there is such a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION available these days. I've decided that I will sample some of column A and B, or else lose my mind. Flynn loves standing, but we don't encourage him to do it as often as I'm sure he would enjoy. I help him practice pulling up and give him time in his Johnny Jumper here and there, but I try to make sure there is much MORE time spent on the floor where he will be encouraged to work on crawling. Even still, his interest in getting from one spot to another had seemed lukewarm, at best, and I worried if there was something I could do to help spark that interest in him. As with pretty much every other milestone he's reached, I didn't need to spend any additional brain power on the situation. Practically overnight he started scooting forward, which transitioned within a day to military crawling, and now he is coordinating holding himself up on his arms and getting his knees under him at the same time. He's starting to get the 4-point rocking action going on, and though already completely mobile in all directions, I figure it might even only be a matter of hours until he is full-on crawling. He, apparently, has learned how to control himself from sitting to laying on his tummy, though hasn't quite figured out the reverse, but he's getting there. Pulling up with my help is a cinch, using the furniture is not yet on the radar, but that, too, is only a matter of time.
I still have some moments of worry start to creep up at what I envision to be the outer limits of an acceptable time frame for Flynn to accomplish something, then quickly remind myself that there isn't some magic day in which if he doesn't complete a feat, he'll never be able to do it. He's doing things on his own time and that is more than perfectly acceptable. He is doing them, and that is the important part.
This? This is growth. Lots and lots of growth.
Clif held his first baby ever the month before Flynn was born. Not having hardly any experience at all with little ones, except for our nieces and nephews, he's had one of the steepest learning curves. People offer up suggestions, advice and statements of things to expect with growing kids, but it's hard to wrap your head around some concepts until you experience them. He is an incredible dad and learning new things every day, which I know is exciting for all of us.
In the meantime I am still working hard on my area of growth: learning to breathe. I am a worrier by nature and, if you ask my father, by blood. Seriously, he can trace a full line of worriers in our family tree. I firmly believe I needed to experience all of the hiccups before getting pregnant with Flynn, as well as the challenges we faced during those 9 months (up to and including weeks of bed rest, threats of early delivery, emergency c-section and unexpected trip to the ICU) in order to start learning to let go of control and just go with the flow. I think I also needed the challenges we faced with our first pediatrician who fed my first-time mother doubts and fears until we finally wised up and took a stand against practices we didn't fully understand. All of those events have been teaching me how to learn to relax, trust myself, worry less, sit back and let things happen naturally. It has not been without effort, but I've made remarkable progress. So much so that I almost feel like I can't express my musings without them being interpreted as fretful by people who know me. Things that used to concern me greatly I can now contemplate without letting them carry me away to Stress City, but it can still take some thought and effort.
Flynn is going so fast I am both afraid to blink and hardly notice until I flip through pictures of him and compare his progress. Every day is a joy with him and I love watching him learn. I've discovered a pattern in his growth and mine: just as my musings about when he might hit his next developmental milestone start to edge towards anxious anticipation on whether it will be within the "normal guidelines" (which I don't truly care about, I promise, I know he will get there at his own pace), he hits it. I've been flirting with a little bit worried about him crawling for several weeks now. A lot of people say that they, their kid, or someone they knew skipped crawling and went right to walking. There are newer studies out, however, that say some kids who are having difficulty reading when they are older are encouraged to practice crawling, as it connects specific synapses in the brain. Similar to these studies, I think, are ones saying that all of the baby positioners out on the market now are encouraging parents to force developmental steps on their children before they are ready for it.
I think these are classic examples of how there is such a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION available these days. I've decided that I will sample some of column A and B, or else lose my mind. Flynn loves standing, but we don't encourage him to do it as often as I'm sure he would enjoy. I help him practice pulling up and give him time in his Johnny Jumper here and there, but I try to make sure there is much MORE time spent on the floor where he will be encouraged to work on crawling. Even still, his interest in getting from one spot to another had seemed lukewarm, at best, and I worried if there was something I could do to help spark that interest in him. As with pretty much every other milestone he's reached, I didn't need to spend any additional brain power on the situation. Practically overnight he started scooting forward, which transitioned within a day to military crawling, and now he is coordinating holding himself up on his arms and getting his knees under him at the same time. He's starting to get the 4-point rocking action going on, and though already completely mobile in all directions, I figure it might even only be a matter of hours until he is full-on crawling. He, apparently, has learned how to control himself from sitting to laying on his tummy, though hasn't quite figured out the reverse, but he's getting there. Pulling up with my help is a cinch, using the furniture is not yet on the radar, but that, too, is only a matter of time.
I still have some moments of worry start to creep up at what I envision to be the outer limits of an acceptable time frame for Flynn to accomplish something, then quickly remind myself that there isn't some magic day in which if he doesn't complete a feat, he'll never be able to do it. He's doing things on his own time and that is more than perfectly acceptable. He is doing them, and that is the important part.
This? This is growth. Lots and lots of growth.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Adventures in Diapering
*sigh*
I've known for quite some time that cloth diapering would be something I really wanted to do. I wasn't sure I felt comfortable jumping into that pool with both feet, right out of the gate, with our first baby, but to me it was an eventuality, rather than just a possibility.
Clif has not ever been completely on board with this idea. In fact, I have barely managed to get him to even consider it, much less fully get behind the plan. In order to make it more palatable, and therefore more likely to be done, for him I've decided to practice cloth diapering myself, first. That way I can work out a procedure that is easy and similar to handling disposable diapers, knowing full well any chance of our joint success in this venture would be in having all the wrinkles completely ironed out before introducing it to him.
Yeah. Still a lot of wrinkles.
We are several months later than I had thought we might be in transitioning to cloth diapering and I am afraid I'm finding that there might be a significant reason for that: I'm doing something wrong.
I've only had Flynn in a cloth diaper 3 times, 2 of which resulted in massive leakage, each of those being from completely different brands/styles of diapers. G diapers are a little bit trickier in the sense that they have 3 pieces to them, instead of two, and take just a hair more finesse to get them assembled and secured properly. I have no doubt with more practice they will become significantly easier to use, I just haven't put in the practice yet. To try something I thought might be a little bit easier and user friendly I bought two Little Monsters, with the full front of snaps to adjust the size. It's a pocket diaper, the insert is easier to handle and get situated and they are SO cute and soft!
I used the snap-adjustable diaper last night and fastened it on at its smallest option without having to use the overlap snaps. I could tell it was a little bit lose around the waist, but I was worried the size difference to the next option would make them so tight I'd cut off circulation to Flynn's legs. I guess either need to go ahead and snap them tighter or figure he's in between sizes and wait until he's a little bit bigger. I'm not exactly sure what the issue is with the G diapers but imagine it must be a similar sizing situation.
I still really, really want to make this change. It is better for the environment, it will save us a lot of money and I think it will be more comfortable for Flynn. We were even given some wet bags and a hamper to make the transition that much easier for us by a friend who had out-grown her need for them. So far the only down fall is this leaking issue. Well, that and even though cloth diapering is easy, there will be a smidgen more effort to put into it. That is hardly a counter-point, however, as I am a firm believer that if I can get a process in place we will hardly know the difference except in our bank account, but the leaking thing defeats the purpose.
Cloth diapering is important enough to me that I will be persistent in figuring it out so I can hand the process over to Clif in a nice, neat, everything-figured-out package. I really want him to get on board, but it's frustrating, and if I'm frustrated with it there is no way on God's green earth he will even make an attempt. Much like nursing, I've discovered it doesn't seem to be quite as easy as I thought (and hoped) it would be...
Makes me wish there was such a thing as a Diaper Fairy who could visit and show me what I'm doing wrong and help me fix it so we can make this work.
I've known for quite some time that cloth diapering would be something I really wanted to do. I wasn't sure I felt comfortable jumping into that pool with both feet, right out of the gate, with our first baby, but to me it was an eventuality, rather than just a possibility.
Clif has not ever been completely on board with this idea. In fact, I have barely managed to get him to even consider it, much less fully get behind the plan. In order to make it more palatable, and therefore more likely to be done, for him I've decided to practice cloth diapering myself, first. That way I can work out a procedure that is easy and similar to handling disposable diapers, knowing full well any chance of our joint success in this venture would be in having all the wrinkles completely ironed out before introducing it to him.
Yeah. Still a lot of wrinkles.
We are several months later than I had thought we might be in transitioning to cloth diapering and I am afraid I'm finding that there might be a significant reason for that: I'm doing something wrong.
I've only had Flynn in a cloth diaper 3 times, 2 of which resulted in massive leakage, each of those being from completely different brands/styles of diapers. G diapers are a little bit trickier in the sense that they have 3 pieces to them, instead of two, and take just a hair more finesse to get them assembled and secured properly. I have no doubt with more practice they will become significantly easier to use, I just haven't put in the practice yet. To try something I thought might be a little bit easier and user friendly I bought two Little Monsters, with the full front of snaps to adjust the size. It's a pocket diaper, the insert is easier to handle and get situated and they are SO cute and soft!
I used the snap-adjustable diaper last night and fastened it on at its smallest option without having to use the overlap snaps. I could tell it was a little bit lose around the waist, but I was worried the size difference to the next option would make them so tight I'd cut off circulation to Flynn's legs. I guess either need to go ahead and snap them tighter or figure he's in between sizes and wait until he's a little bit bigger. I'm not exactly sure what the issue is with the G diapers but imagine it must be a similar sizing situation.
I still really, really want to make this change. It is better for the environment, it will save us a lot of money and I think it will be more comfortable for Flynn. We were even given some wet bags and a hamper to make the transition that much easier for us by a friend who had out-grown her need for them. So far the only down fall is this leaking issue. Well, that and even though cloth diapering is easy, there will be a smidgen more effort to put into it. That is hardly a counter-point, however, as I am a firm believer that if I can get a process in place we will hardly know the difference except in our bank account, but the leaking thing defeats the purpose.
Cloth diapering is important enough to me that I will be persistent in figuring it out so I can hand the process over to Clif in a nice, neat, everything-figured-out package. I really want him to get on board, but it's frustrating, and if I'm frustrated with it there is no way on God's green earth he will even make an attempt. Much like nursing, I've discovered it doesn't seem to be quite as easy as I thought (and hoped) it would be...
Makes me wish there was such a thing as a Diaper Fairy who could visit and show me what I'm doing wrong and help me fix it so we can make this work.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Breaking Gums
How has it been a month since I last wrote, already?! Time goes way too fast.
Flynn's first word was 'Mama'. Believe it or not I haven't been communicating to him with a dialogue exclusively containing that word, I just happen to make a lot of 'm' sounds by default, it's my comfortable go to when I'm interacting with him and so it seems perfectly logical that something beginning with 'ma' would be his first word. In the past week or so we've added 'baba' to the mix and we are diligently working on 'dada', though that one isn't making an appearance yet.
Rolling over has gotten easier for him, even if he still isn't doing a ton of it. We try to entice him to roll and make an effort to scoot by waving toys just out of his reach and sqwaking nonsensical words at a pitch I'm sure produces headaches for the dogs but Flynn would rather chill where he lies and entertain himself with his feet, forget you guys and your toys. He'll get there, I'm not worried, he just makes sure we know it's going to be at HIS pace, no matter how ridiculous our display of encouragement is. Nice try, silly parents.
Sitting up is improving, too, but he's in defective Weeble-Wobble mode (he weebles and he wobbles and then he totally falls down). Still it is so much fun to watch his marked improvement every day.
Yesterday Clif was worried because Flynn woke up early, fussing, and wasn't inclined to go about his day without an attitude. Even more troubling was the fact that he wasn't all that interested in eating. We were keeping an eye on him, Clif physically and me by watching my phone like a hawk for text updates, to see if there would be any other signs of something possibly wrong. By lunch his appetite had picked back up, he had a few explosive diapers and seemed to be more like himself. If it hadn't been for the conversation we'd had with our neighbor on Sunday, when she told us that blow out diapers were the herald for erupting teeth, I don't think we would have even thought to take a look in his mouth. Sure enough the smallest bit of tooth has broken ground, and it's SHARP! I've been saying for months, it seems like, that with as much saliva he's been producing he'd better be getting teeth in or we'll have to move into a house boat. It's kind of surreal to see that milestone come to fruition, even though I know it's been weeks in the making.
I still spend every day in flux between wanting to be doing more of everything but not ready to give up even a moment of time with Flynn and Clif. In fact, I'm not sure I could say it any better than Kristen, of Rage Against the Minivan did, so I'll just say "Ditto".
Flynn's first word was 'Mama'. Believe it or not I haven't been communicating to him with a dialogue exclusively containing that word, I just happen to make a lot of 'm' sounds by default, it's my comfortable go to when I'm interacting with him and so it seems perfectly logical that something beginning with 'ma' would be his first word. In the past week or so we've added 'baba' to the mix and we are diligently working on 'dada', though that one isn't making an appearance yet.
Rolling over has gotten easier for him, even if he still isn't doing a ton of it. We try to entice him to roll and make an effort to scoot by waving toys just out of his reach and sqwaking nonsensical words at a pitch I'm sure produces headaches for the dogs but Flynn would rather chill where he lies and entertain himself with his feet, forget you guys and your toys. He'll get there, I'm not worried, he just makes sure we know it's going to be at HIS pace, no matter how ridiculous our display of encouragement is. Nice try, silly parents.
Sitting up is improving, too, but he's in defective Weeble-Wobble mode (he weebles and he wobbles and then he totally falls down). Still it is so much fun to watch his marked improvement every day.
Yesterday Clif was worried because Flynn woke up early, fussing, and wasn't inclined to go about his day without an attitude. Even more troubling was the fact that he wasn't all that interested in eating. We were keeping an eye on him, Clif physically and me by watching my phone like a hawk for text updates, to see if there would be any other signs of something possibly wrong. By lunch his appetite had picked back up, he had a few explosive diapers and seemed to be more like himself. If it hadn't been for the conversation we'd had with our neighbor on Sunday, when she told us that blow out diapers were the herald for erupting teeth, I don't think we would have even thought to take a look in his mouth. Sure enough the smallest bit of tooth has broken ground, and it's SHARP! I've been saying for months, it seems like, that with as much saliva he's been producing he'd better be getting teeth in or we'll have to move into a house boat. It's kind of surreal to see that milestone come to fruition, even though I know it's been weeks in the making.
I still spend every day in flux between wanting to be doing more of everything but not ready to give up even a moment of time with Flynn and Clif. In fact, I'm not sure I could say it any better than Kristen, of Rage Against the Minivan did, so I'll just say "Ditto".
Friday, August 8, 2014
Amazing Grace
Flynn, I want to tell you about an amazing woman.
Tomorrow we will say goodbye to Charlotte Leavell Davis, and celebrate her eternal homecoming. She was your Oma's mother, my grandmother, your great grandmother (GG) and the only great grandparent who got the chance to meet you. She was also the grandparent I knew the longest and so knew the best.
You were too young to be able to remember her, but here are some pieces of her (and some of Grandpa Davis) I will love to share with you throughout the years:
- She and G'pa were travelers. They had several motor homes over the years and I would play in them like they were a play house. One day I look forward to traveling with your father and I will have been inspired by their traveling, adventurous spirit.
- They collected glass. No, really, I mean COLLECTED. I loved it when they would return from one of their spontaneous trips and call, saying they had boxes of glass that needed to be unpacked. We would go to their house and I got to sit on the floor and unpack each and every piece, until my hands were black from the newsprint wrapping, while they told us the story of their adventure. As much as they collected, however, they also gave away, especially in more recent years. At almost every opportunity GG would insist that friends, family, visitors pick a piece of glass from the collection to take with them. I know, just as they are for me, those pieces will hold memories of her for each of them, possibly even for generations to come.
- She once rescued and raised a baby squirrel that they found in their yard. She named her Mary and every day GG went outside with some nuts and called for her. That squirrel would come running, climb up GG's leg, around her back and perch on her shoulder to eat her treats. We even once took Mary and Susie, the cat, in separate pet carriers on a weekend trip to Luray. From then on squirrels became GG's favorite animal and I think of her every time I see one (in other words, all the time).
- Every time she hugged you she quick-patted your back then she would squeeze with a "MmmMM!". They were called love taps, it was her signature move and they will be passed on to you.
- I loved her white bean soup that she served with a piece of buttered bread. To this day that simple meal is the epitome of home and comfort to me.
- She wasn't a fan of my long, unruly hair that I would keep in a horrible pony tail that drooped down to the middle of my back and wanted so badly for me to cut it but I refused. One night she offered to give me a little trim and I agreed, but only a trim. She cut it all the way up to my jaw.
- Hot hands run in the family. She would touch your hand, exclaim if they were cold and hold them between hers, telling you she would warm them up for you. Her hands started to get cold in her older age so one year for Christmas I made her hand/wrist gauntlets in pink (her favorite color) and gray with my very limited knitting skills. She kept them by her chair and I loved seeing her wear them.
- She crocheted hand towels by the hundreds and gave them to everyone she knew every chance she got, almost like a calling card. She always asked what color people's kitchens were to make sure she made a towel to match.
- She loved jokes and had a great sense of humor. For example, did you hear the one about the girl who ran into the screen door? She strained herself!
- Once I brought the boy I was dating to a family pool picnic at GG and G'pa's house. He saw a mosquito land on my arm and smacked me to kill it. GG only saw that he smacked me and was about to come around the table faster than he could blink in my defense to do some smacking of her own. I think he saw the look on her face and was fearful for his safety but she was looking out for me.
- My favorite GG story is is a true doozy. Many years ago, when Uncle Edmond was young, she took him on a shopping trip. She sat in the parking lot, patiently waiting with her turn signal on for a car to leave the parking space she intended to take. Someone else, however, thought otherwise and whipped into the spot instead. GG was so angry she asked Ed for a piece of gum, chewed it then crammed it into the offending driver's lock with her thumb! In other words, don't mess with the Davis women.
By the time your father and I got around to trying to start growing our family GG's mind just wasn't what it used to be. Signs of dementia were showing more and more and sometimes our weekly phone conversations could be challenging. She knew she wasn't remembering or understanding things like she used to and it distressed her. Feeling sensitive to that at first I wasn't sure I wanted to tell her about our pending pregnancy until we were past the first trimester, I didn't want to upset or confuse her if something happened. Not long after we found out we were pregnant the first time Grandma went to the hospital for health complications. Suddenly I realized if, heaven forbid, something were to happen to her while she was there I didn't want her to have not known we were expecting her 6th great grand child, so we made sure she knew we were expecting. Unfortunately we lost the first baby, and the second, but GG turned out to be one of my greatest, most uplifting supporters as we worked through those difficult times. She told me everything happens for a reason and the losses meant that something had been wrong and the right time would come for us. She was so right as we were blessed with you.
Finally you arrived and I was thrilled to be able to introduce you to GG. She had moved into a small group assisted living home as her dementia and health continued to deteriorate. Sometimes she recognized who was visiting her by face, sometimes by name, sometimes only one visitor but not another and sometimes she would talk about her visitors in the 3rd person. I quickly had to adjust to just going with the flow when I would sit next to her and listen to her talk about "Amy" as if I were an entirely different person.
With that in mind I imagine it's not hard to understand how surprised I was by her response when we first took you to meet her. Mom greeted GG first and told her Clif and I were there with you. She wasn't sure about your dad and me, but she immediately recognized your name and started looking around to see you. Having never met you I was touched and thrilled she made that connection. At first she was content to smile at you and pat your leg, then I asked her if she wanted to hold you. She didn't think she could be trusted, saying it had been so long since she'd held a baby she didn't think she could do it right, but I was right there next to her so I just went ahead and stuck you in her arms.
Flynn, she was so happy to hold you she cried. I have a picture of those very first moments, the tears in her eyes, how quiet, peaceful and content you were, such a perfect angel to her. Every time I see it or think of that moment I will feel her and be thankful. She held you for quite some time, gently patting your leg nonstop and alternating between telling you how sweet you were and wondering if she felt sure she was capable of holding you. She patted and patted and you brushed her chin between bouts of snoozing.
During the last week she was with us, when she wasn't really responsive to us she responded to you. One time Oma took you to see her and let you sit next to her on the bed so she could pat your shoulders. A couple of days later we visited again and I held you up in front of her so she could see you and we listened as she called you 'pretty baby' and 'sweet baby' over and over. You cooed, smiled, patted her leg and held her hand and though I know you weren't aware of the good you were doing I'm so thankful for the wonderful experience it was for you both.
It wasn't just GG that you brought joy to, you were a dose of baby therapy to all of the other residents. One day your dad and I were leaving the house and as Oma was saying goodbye to the caregivers I glanced across the room at a resident sitting next to the window who was pointing repeatedly to another resident sitting on the opposite side of the room. I looked and saw she was quietly crying and immediately walked over to her with you in tow. She looked up from her lap, saw you and her face lit up, a huge smile spread across her face. I stood in front of her with your car seat propped against my thigh so she could tickle your feet, stroke your hands and tell you how wonderful you were. After we spent several minutes with her we visited the other residents to let them all have a quick turn. The next time we visited you were sitting in GG's room and you started to squeak loudly. That same resident came down the hall to investigate what was making all that noise and stopped mid-sentence when she saw you. She didn't come into GG's room but stood right at the doorjamb, leaning in through the door to coo at you, so we went over to her to give her a better look and let her play with you. For a few minutes I didn't think Oma and I would be able to leave that night, we were trapped by your arresting cuteness and her reluctance to let us take you away.
We didn't take you back to visit GG as often as we should have and that is my fault. I'm thankful for the time we did get to spend with her and I know we brought her love and joy. Seeing the joy you also brought the other residents has made me realize that just because GG is no longer with us doesn't mean we can't still share that joy with the ones that remain. As often as we are able I'll take you to see them so they can gently pat you and call you 'sweet baby', just like your great grandmother did.
In recent years GG would often marvel at her wonderful family and we would tell her it was her fault, she and Grandpa started it. The obvious reality is that our family, who we are today, is because of so many people who came before us and serendipitous events that expanded our family by marriages but it's also a reality that she was a huge part of molding who Oma was and, in turn, who your aunt, uncle and myself are. I like to hope that I am a distant reflection of the incredible woman she was and her influence is one of the greatest gifts I'll ever be able to give. It's a gift I am eager to pass on to you.
Tomorrow we will say goodbye to Charlotte Leavell Davis, and celebrate her eternal homecoming. She was your Oma's mother, my grandmother, your great grandmother (GG) and the only great grandparent who got the chance to meet you. She was also the grandparent I knew the longest and so knew the best.
You were too young to be able to remember her, but here are some pieces of her (and some of Grandpa Davis) I will love to share with you throughout the years:
- She and G'pa were travelers. They had several motor homes over the years and I would play in them like they were a play house. One day I look forward to traveling with your father and I will have been inspired by their traveling, adventurous spirit.
- They collected glass. No, really, I mean COLLECTED. I loved it when they would return from one of their spontaneous trips and call, saying they had boxes of glass that needed to be unpacked. We would go to their house and I got to sit on the floor and unpack each and every piece, until my hands were black from the newsprint wrapping, while they told us the story of their adventure. As much as they collected, however, they also gave away, especially in more recent years. At almost every opportunity GG would insist that friends, family, visitors pick a piece of glass from the collection to take with them. I know, just as they are for me, those pieces will hold memories of her for each of them, possibly even for generations to come.
- She once rescued and raised a baby squirrel that they found in their yard. She named her Mary and every day GG went outside with some nuts and called for her. That squirrel would come running, climb up GG's leg, around her back and perch on her shoulder to eat her treats. We even once took Mary and Susie, the cat, in separate pet carriers on a weekend trip to Luray. From then on squirrels became GG's favorite animal and I think of her every time I see one (in other words, all the time).
- Every time she hugged you she quick-patted your back then she would squeeze with a "MmmMM!". They were called love taps, it was her signature move and they will be passed on to you.
- I loved her white bean soup that she served with a piece of buttered bread. To this day that simple meal is the epitome of home and comfort to me.
- She wasn't a fan of my long, unruly hair that I would keep in a horrible pony tail that drooped down to the middle of my back and wanted so badly for me to cut it but I refused. One night she offered to give me a little trim and I agreed, but only a trim. She cut it all the way up to my jaw.
- Hot hands run in the family. She would touch your hand, exclaim if they were cold and hold them between hers, telling you she would warm them up for you. Her hands started to get cold in her older age so one year for Christmas I made her hand/wrist gauntlets in pink (her favorite color) and gray with my very limited knitting skills. She kept them by her chair and I loved seeing her wear them.
- She crocheted hand towels by the hundreds and gave them to everyone she knew every chance she got, almost like a calling card. She always asked what color people's kitchens were to make sure she made a towel to match.
- She loved jokes and had a great sense of humor. For example, did you hear the one about the girl who ran into the screen door? She strained herself!
- Once I brought the boy I was dating to a family pool picnic at GG and G'pa's house. He saw a mosquito land on my arm and smacked me to kill it. GG only saw that he smacked me and was about to come around the table faster than he could blink in my defense to do some smacking of her own. I think he saw the look on her face and was fearful for his safety but she was looking out for me.
- My favorite GG story is is a true doozy. Many years ago, when Uncle Edmond was young, she took him on a shopping trip. She sat in the parking lot, patiently waiting with her turn signal on for a car to leave the parking space she intended to take. Someone else, however, thought otherwise and whipped into the spot instead. GG was so angry she asked Ed for a piece of gum, chewed it then crammed it into the offending driver's lock with her thumb! In other words, don't mess with the Davis women.
By the time your father and I got around to trying to start growing our family GG's mind just wasn't what it used to be. Signs of dementia were showing more and more and sometimes our weekly phone conversations could be challenging. She knew she wasn't remembering or understanding things like she used to and it distressed her. Feeling sensitive to that at first I wasn't sure I wanted to tell her about our pending pregnancy until we were past the first trimester, I didn't want to upset or confuse her if something happened. Not long after we found out we were pregnant the first time Grandma went to the hospital for health complications. Suddenly I realized if, heaven forbid, something were to happen to her while she was there I didn't want her to have not known we were expecting her 6th great grand child, so we made sure she knew we were expecting. Unfortunately we lost the first baby, and the second, but GG turned out to be one of my greatest, most uplifting supporters as we worked through those difficult times. She told me everything happens for a reason and the losses meant that something had been wrong and the right time would come for us. She was so right as we were blessed with you.
Finally you arrived and I was thrilled to be able to introduce you to GG. She had moved into a small group assisted living home as her dementia and health continued to deteriorate. Sometimes she recognized who was visiting her by face, sometimes by name, sometimes only one visitor but not another and sometimes she would talk about her visitors in the 3rd person. I quickly had to adjust to just going with the flow when I would sit next to her and listen to her talk about "Amy" as if I were an entirely different person.
With that in mind I imagine it's not hard to understand how surprised I was by her response when we first took you to meet her. Mom greeted GG first and told her Clif and I were there with you. She wasn't sure about your dad and me, but she immediately recognized your name and started looking around to see you. Having never met you I was touched and thrilled she made that connection. At first she was content to smile at you and pat your leg, then I asked her if she wanted to hold you. She didn't think she could be trusted, saying it had been so long since she'd held a baby she didn't think she could do it right, but I was right there next to her so I just went ahead and stuck you in her arms.
Flynn, she was so happy to hold you she cried. I have a picture of those very first moments, the tears in her eyes, how quiet, peaceful and content you were, such a perfect angel to her. Every time I see it or think of that moment I will feel her and be thankful. She held you for quite some time, gently patting your leg nonstop and alternating between telling you how sweet you were and wondering if she felt sure she was capable of holding you. She patted and patted and you brushed her chin between bouts of snoozing.
During the last week she was with us, when she wasn't really responsive to us she responded to you. One time Oma took you to see her and let you sit next to her on the bed so she could pat your shoulders. A couple of days later we visited again and I held you up in front of her so she could see you and we listened as she called you 'pretty baby' and 'sweet baby' over and over. You cooed, smiled, patted her leg and held her hand and though I know you weren't aware of the good you were doing I'm so thankful for the wonderful experience it was for you both.
It wasn't just GG that you brought joy to, you were a dose of baby therapy to all of the other residents. One day your dad and I were leaving the house and as Oma was saying goodbye to the caregivers I glanced across the room at a resident sitting next to the window who was pointing repeatedly to another resident sitting on the opposite side of the room. I looked and saw she was quietly crying and immediately walked over to her with you in tow. She looked up from her lap, saw you and her face lit up, a huge smile spread across her face. I stood in front of her with your car seat propped against my thigh so she could tickle your feet, stroke your hands and tell you how wonderful you were. After we spent several minutes with her we visited the other residents to let them all have a quick turn. The next time we visited you were sitting in GG's room and you started to squeak loudly. That same resident came down the hall to investigate what was making all that noise and stopped mid-sentence when she saw you. She didn't come into GG's room but stood right at the doorjamb, leaning in through the door to coo at you, so we went over to her to give her a better look and let her play with you. For a few minutes I didn't think Oma and I would be able to leave that night, we were trapped by your arresting cuteness and her reluctance to let us take you away.
We didn't take you back to visit GG as often as we should have and that is my fault. I'm thankful for the time we did get to spend with her and I know we brought her love and joy. Seeing the joy you also brought the other residents has made me realize that just because GG is no longer with us doesn't mean we can't still share that joy with the ones that remain. As often as we are able I'll take you to see them so they can gently pat you and call you 'sweet baby', just like your great grandmother did.
In recent years GG would often marvel at her wonderful family and we would tell her it was her fault, she and Grandpa started it. The obvious reality is that our family, who we are today, is because of so many people who came before us and serendipitous events that expanded our family by marriages but it's also a reality that she was a huge part of molding who Oma was and, in turn, who your aunt, uncle and myself are. I like to hope that I am a distant reflection of the incredible woman she was and her influence is one of the greatest gifts I'll ever be able to give. It's a gift I am eager to pass on to you.
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