Christmas is in a week. It's hard to believe, and more than a little terrifying, how fast time flies. I remember how long the month of December felt when I was younger. Thanksgiving would come and go and it still felt like an eternity until Christmas day. I actually didn't mind, my favorite part about Christmas is the build up to it: the music, decorating, festive outfits, holiday movies viewed in PJs with mugs of hot chocolate. I love Christmas day, but there's a hint of sadness as the day slips by. All too soon it is over and the entire year looms until it comes around again.
I've noticed, as I've gotten older, my love of the Christmas build up and dread of the letdown when it's over have increased 10-fold. I've almost adopted a method of self-preservation by not getting as excited about it as I was when I was younger (not even a kid, just younger). It certainly doesn't help that holidays, and life in general, is just different when you are an adult. The holiday stress you knew your parents felt, but didn't make sense to you, all of a sudden is stark and real. Traffic sucks, people are grumpy, and if you haven't saved some PTO you still have to go to work. Luckily I save as much of PTO for the end of year as possible, so I'll have a nice break at home.
For the first time in several years my anticipation of Christmas day has ramped to child-like heights. I blame that on a few things: 1) Clif and I have both been working on generating supplemental incomes for our family, which means that our savings can grow, but we also have a little bit extra to have a bigger Christmas than we usually do. Christmas isn't about the presents, there are so many more important things than that, but seeing our tree surrounded by beautifully wrapped gifts for our loved ones does have a certain warm and fuzzy feel. 2) We have a child. He is too young to really understand any of the concepts of Christmas, but he sees our decorations and we take him to look at Christmas lights around the neighborhood. Christmas music has been on almost constantly since before Thanksgiving and I sing carols to him all the time. He got to be Jesus for our churches live nativity. He won't remember it, but I will, as will all of the people who will lovingly/teasingly call him "Baby Jesus" for years and years to come. I also can't wait for him to open his presents. He may be more interested in the paper and boxes they come in, but it will be exciting for us and grow the anticipation of how he will react to this holiday as he gets older. Oh, the fun we will have!
This month certainly hasn't been without its challenges. I feel so overwhelmed, scatterbrained, losing track of things and time, unable to keep all of the balls I'm juggling up in the air. I've had moments of complete lack of grace or any ability to Just Deal, which doesn't make me feel very good about myself. The house has been a disaster (thank you, Clif, for being my hero and staying up until the wee morning hours to clean so I could feel better, I love you!), I haven't been able to get nearly as far as I need to with knitting orders, and Flynn has been having to deal with cutting 4 teeth simultaneously. We think this last challenge is what kicked up his very first fever earlier this week. Clif was amazing in handling him, getting some medications on board to reduce his fever, laying with him in bed with a cold compress, quietly snuggling or playing with some soft stuffed toys. Clif handled the situation so much better than I think I would have, certainly with more confidence, and even though he told me later he was scared and cried having to see Flynn so lethargic and unwell, I am thankful that he was there to take authoritative action to make our little man feel better. I was not nearly as confident as he at least appeared to be, knowing he was home and taking care of business gave me great piece of mind. Flynn's fever broke within 2 days, but he's still struggling with some serious nasal congestion that is making meal time less than pleasant. Still, he is much improved and has his energy and personality back, just in time for the weekend. We can survive the sudden torrential downpours of drool so much better when he is feeling good and smiling.
In other news, my worry about Flynn being slower to hit mobility milestones has turned out to be pretty much unnecessary. While still practicing what I call a 'zombie crawl' (lots of upper body pulling and lower body dragging, creepy...), it is a super effective and FAST zombie crawl. Flynn can get every where: sitting up from lying down, lying down from sitting up, front to back, back to front, spin 360 degrees, and travel in all directions. He
Clif has been loving, and excelling, as a new consultant for Tastefully Simple. He is doing a really great job and enjoys the "work", especially as it can be a nice little break from the more demanding needs of CWS. I decided to transition from Touchstone Crystal to a new company called Radiantly You. I feel passionate about the natural, organic, environmentally-aware product and the mission-mindedness of the company. I'm hopeful that I can push myself to grow in new ways through this experience and share the goodness with people. Natal Knits has done so much better than I ever thought this season, which has given me inspiration and motivation to expand the projects I work on and offer in the Etsy shop. Things will surely slow down after Christmas, even though there is plenty of scarf season left, but during the spring and summer I hope to work on more complex and varied projects in preparation for next year.
Whew! The holidays are here and they mean business. Even when things seem to be spiraling out of control I will strive to remember how fortunate we are, and when things are great I will relish the beauty, joy, and love that surrounds us.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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