Cheeto isn't even here yet and I'm already slacking at keeping a record of the progress of this pregnancy. As noted in the last post, the past several months have been a whirlwind, and while some things have turned around, we've had more bad luck to work our way through, too. It keeps us tough, keeps us working hard, keeps us soundly on the tips of our toes.
Quick update about Flynn: I have never known a better child. I know that sounds so cliche and partial, and of course it is, but I think it also has a healthy dose of truth. He is happy, friendly, easy going, sweet, loving, and so much fun, I often wonder how we have been so blessed. I know there will be rough days in our future, but I hope he keeps those qualities as he grows. The down side is it doesn't help my poor time allocation skills. Though my fluctuating hormones certainly have something to do with it, I've found myself struggling, especially the past few weeks, with finding good balance in my day-to-day. I wake up, work (either at the office or on house chores), try to work in the feeding of mouths (Flynn's first, and let me tell you how much I dread mealtime with him, only because I feel I fail at providing enough well-balanced and varied options, then mine but only if I have enough energy), attempt to integrate chores with quality play time, go through Flynn's bedtime routine, then usually barely make it into bed, myself. I have been finding it hard to juggle all of the things I feel I need to do as a working mother and spouse (poor Clif...) and still have time to do something just for me (play a game, read a book, catch up on guilty pleasure tv shows). I wonder if it would be easier to juggle if Flynn weren't so wonderful, so I'd have the desire or need to get a break from him. Instead I force myself to split attention between him and the mountain of things that need always need to be finished and feel guilty for not giving him all of my time, then feeling worn down when I don't allow myself to charge my batteries. One of these days I'll find a better balance, I hope.
As for Cheeto, this pregnancy has been going great. Which worries me... If the challenging pregnancy with Flynn produced such an easy kid, I shudder to think of the reverse situation! Having been through the experience once already, though, I don't feel the same vague detachment and lack of bonding I did with Flynn. I smile and put my hand on my belly or chuckle and make a comment when Cheeto is awake and boisterous, kicking and rolling around like a gymnast. I have something more tangible to relate the experience to and it allows for a very different perspective, which is exciting. I have lost/maintained my weight, which is still crazy (go figure the only time I can lose weight is when I'm pregnant...), my gestational diabetes is being diet controlled, and my blood pressure has actually been darn near perfect at my OB appointments, which is incredible. If we keep going at this rate I may be able to stay out of bed and go into labor, a very exciting prospect.
In other news we are facing a lot more changes around the corner. Next week we will begin demolition in our basement apartment in preparation for a renovation to get it ready for a new renter, hopefully as soon as possible. We really don't know what we could be getting into with this project, and won't know until the reno is done, which is a scary unknown. What we DO know is by choosing to take on this much-needed update we will increase our rental perspectives. Our plan is to rent until we can purchase a new van for the growing family and repay the amount it will cost to complete the project, ballparking around the next 5-7 years. We are also looking at refinancing the mortgage to a lower rate to help increase some of the speed with which we can reach this goal.
I am also working on trying to re-jump start my supplemental income as a direct sales consultant. Being able to work a side job like that is a very big challenge on top of my 9-5 job and the other demands at home, but building this foundation will help me provide supplemental income for the whole family. It will also help absorb some of the burden that will come from my pending maternity leave, which I have without pay. I'm excited to have joined a company that I believe in and offers beautiful products, but business and sales is not a natural strength of mine, something I have to really work on and practice. I am hopeful, however, that I will be able to learn some new skills, and work towards continuing to support our family when one of our primary means of income will be put on hold for several months.
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